Poor Stupid Sasha
by Plunksnela
Summary: SnK characters teach us English phrases and words. Chapter three: Levi tells Mikasa and Eren to confess in love to each other. However, Mikasa falls in love with her uncle. Her uncle Ackerman. The next chapter on 21st. September.
1. To Enclose Levi

I am sorry for language mistakes. English is not my native language. In our English class every month we write a test which contains 50 new English words or phrases. This story is my way to learn them.

The list of words:

1. Scruffy 2. Tracksuit 3. Combat 4. A fleece 5. A polo shirt 6. Purchase 7. To pose a threat to 8. In a fullground 9. To be looking forward enclose 11. Suffer from 12. To be discharged 13. Authorities 14. Eventually 15. Stunning 16. Menial 17. Vet 18. A plumber 19. A pipe 20. A carpenter 21. A nostril 22. A shin 23. A thigh 24. A throat 25. A waist 26. Facilities 27. Joint 28. Unwind 29. Obsolate encourage 31. A civil-engineer 32. To object 33. To fetch 34. To fall through 35. To carry on 36. Affluence 37. A weekend-break 38. A bargain 39. To hitch a ride 40. A charter-flight 41. To conduct business 42. Proficient 43. Vast 44. To put somebody through 45. To get through 46. Stroke 47. Dim 48. Hazardous 49. Hazard 50. To dispute

Just after his judgement, Eren was quite SCRUFFY.

Until Levi taught him lots of useful things.

Eren learned to do everything appropriately.

Not to wear a TRACKSUIT during the COMBAT, for example.

Eren will also never wear A FLEECE while sleeping anymore, and never try to wash dishes by using A POLO SHIRT that was PURCHASED him by Petra.

Mikasa didn't like how Levi had changed Eren's nature.

Not because she didn't like the cleanness but because she hated Levi.

So she wanted to POSE some THREAT TO him.

After Mikasa saw Levi beating Eren,she understood that revenge to that shorty had to be IN THE FULLGROUND of the other things to her.

So Mikasa WAS always LOOKING FORWARD TO cause some trouble to Levi.

One night Mikasa had a dream, and she heard a voice telling her to ENCLOSE Levi.

Even though she didn't know what the word _enclose_ means, Mikasa somehow inferred that it sounds painfully .

So her mission was to see Levi SUFFERING FROM it.

In her imagination, Levi suffered from _enclosing_ so much he was never DISCHARGED from the hospital anymore.

In her visions AUTHORITIES of that hospital even decided to treat Levi so badly that his anguish was growing and growing and growing and...

But Mikasa didn't have any idea how to _enclose _Levi because she did't know the accurate meaning of that word.

After several days of thinking about it, Mikasa EVENTUALLY had another dream .

She heard that STUNNING voice again.

It told her that _enclose_ means _to hurt an ankle _because both _enclose _and _ankle_ contain letters _l, e_ and _n._

_L _and _e_ were a part of Levi's name and _e _and _n_ also were in Eren's name.

These arguments were surely undeniable, so the voice convinced Mikasa that it's words were true.

So Mikasa had an idea.

All that was left was just to _enclose _Levi.

There also was a MENIAL part of her plan.

She had to prepare everything that was needed to _enclose _Levi.

Mikasa had to be sure that during the time she tries to _enclose _Levi there will be no VETS around.

She had recently heard vets are the best ankle healers.

A PLUMBER could have been a dangerous person too, because Levi would be able to borrow A PIPE from him in order to protect himself.

Mikasa didn't know how to fight the people that are armed with pipes.

Her subconsciousness told Mikasa that only A CARPENTER wouln'd cause any threat to her perfect plan.

The next night Mikasa heard that powerful voice again.

The voice gave her an advice.

_-Don't even touch his NOSTRIL, SHIN, THIGH, THROAT nor WAIST! Your target is his ankle._

_-I will do as you say,- _Mikasa swore.

At first she thought of getting some FACILITIES that would help her to _enclose _Levi.

Mikasa was afraid that if she was doing it herself, she woul hurt Levi's JOINT but not his ankle.

As Mikasa had already thought about everything that was needed, she UNWINDED for a while.

And didn't think about it anymore for an entire hour.

During the time Mikasa went to her bed, the idea to _enclose _Levi already seemed OBSOLATE to her.

But then she had that dream again.

That voice ENCOURAGED Mikasa to make her dream to _enclose _Levi come true.

The voice also told her that she was cursed.

If Mikasa doesn't _enclose_ Levi soon, she will marry A CIVIL- ENGINEER.

She tried TO OBJECT that, but woke up and saw Sasha looking at her with sad eyes, full of hunger.

Mikasa FETCHED her some bread.

While Sasha was gurging the bread, Mikasa told her everything and then asked so sadly:

_-What if my plan FALLS THROUGH?_

At first Sasha CARRIED ON eating, but when she saw Mikasa's face, she stopped and said:

_-Well, a civil engineer sounds like a someone rich, so his wife would live in AFFLUENCE .Entire her life would be like A you marry a civil-engineer, you could look down on these, who try TO HITCH A RIDE during the rain. You would have your own carriage, no, ten carriages!_

_-But I don't want to..._

Sasha interrupted her :

_-You would have enough money to buy yourself would invent a plane for could have CHARTER FLIGHTS, you could use them TO CONDUCT your own BUSINESS and become really PROFICIENT at would start to admire you for this._

-_You didn't understand me at all... – _Mikasa sighed. – _But what is a plane? _

_-I don't know. _ – Sasha replied. – _I just like to invent some new words or phrases which make my mind VASTER._

Mikasa found this quite interesting.

_-For example?_

_-TO PUT ME THROUGH, for example. This phrase would make everyone bring potatoes, bread and black tea to me. There are two letters o in potatoes and four of them in that phrase. It sounds like a spell._

_-Do you know a spell which hurts somebody's ankle?_– Mikasa inquired.

_-TO GET THROUGH TO that person's ankle, I guess?_

_-Wrong! It's to enclose! – _Mikasa STROKE Sasha's hair and continued with a DIM voice - _Poor stupid Sasha, you don't even know what the word enclose means, right? Poor, poor stupid HAZARDOUS world is full of HAZARDS and you don't even know that if you want to hurt somebody's ankle the spell that you need is just a word enclose..._

Sasha thought that she should DISPUTE, but then changed her mind.

In place of it Sasha will just create some new words and become smarter, so Mikasa will never call her stupid anymore.

The next day everyone was able to see Mikasa cappering in the middle of the garden and murmuring something.

Also, she was holding Levi's favorite broom.

Armin was worried about her.

_-Mikasa, what are you trying to do?_

_-Enclose, enclose, enclose..._

_-She is trying to enclose Levi, - _Sasha explained.

_The next chapter on 2014-03-21._


	2. Sasha's birthday

E-Eren

A-Armin

M-Mikasa

S-Sasha

J-Jean

C-Connie

E: Hey, Armin, why're you crying?

A: My clothes...my clothes... There is no PATTERN on them!

E: And that's all?

A: I want clothes with CHECK pattern! But they are all PLAIN, PLAIN, PLAIN!

E: Only girls worry about patterns.

A: That's the point! I want to be a girl!

E: If we talk like girls, will you calm down?

A: Ok. So, what's your favorite type and SHAPE of clothes?

E: BAGGY,LOOSE and lots of FUR.

A: I don't like FURRY clothes. I like those, which are simply SMOOTH.

...

S: Jeaaaan!

J: Huh? Is something wrong?

S: Yes, it is! You're the only one who forgot!

J: Forgot what?

S: Today is my birthday!

J: Oh. So, then... Happy birthday!..

S: Where's my present?

J: I...I... Maybe you should tell me what you want?

S: Promise you will really do what I ask.

J: Eh.. Ok...

S: I want to see you with HIGH-HEELED shoes!

J: No!

S: Yes! Now! And you will also be wearing LONG-SLEEVED pink dress MATCHING with those shoes.

J: You are so BAD-TEMPERED.

...

M: Eren.

E: What now?

M: Why don't...

S: Hey, you two!

M: It's not a good BEHAVIOUR to INTERRUPT talking people.

S: Today is my birthday! I can do everything!

M: I know. But still...

S: Oh, you're always so RESERVED, MISERABLE and GLOOMY.

E: You were supposed to CHEER Sasha ON her birthday, Mikasa.

S: I forgive her for that her UNDERARCHIEVEMENT.

M: Am I supposed to thank you now?

S: Yes.

E: Thank her, Mikasa!

M: Thanks.

S: Come to the girl's dorms tonight, Eren. You will see something you have never seen.

M: Sasha... I will kill you.

S: You can't. Today is my birthday.

M: Then I will kill you tomorrow.

...

E: Who is that beautiful woman?

S: It's a very MEAN person. That person forgot my birthday present.

M: That's terrible. Poor Sasha. I CAN'T FACE that woman already now.

S: Eren also CAN'T STAND that person.

E: No!

S: Look more carefully. SURVEILLANCE is needed.

...

E: Jean?!

J: CLOSED-CIRCUIT TELEVISION.

E: What?!

S: He's drunk.

J: Mikasa, I want to be A SHOPLIFTER and steal your heart!

M: Your words only BOTHER ME.

...

C: If Sasha can do that to Jean, I will never RELY ON her anymore.

S: Hey!

C: What's now?

S: It's my birthday! You cannot say such things!

...

J: I am so VIVID with high-heeled shoes...

E:Tomorrow you'll be ashamed you TOOK A PART in this.

J: I didn't want! She...she...she made me do it!

M: Hey, Jean, don't cry.

J: But... but...but...

S: Stop making HARM TO my birthday party with you tears!

J: Eh... What am I supposed to do?

S: Dance like on A CATWALK!

M: Thinking about NUTRITION only made you really dumb.

...

S: Such a NUISANCE! Why didn't Armin come?

C: He came. And he was AMUSED and DELIGHTED.

S: Was?

C: Now he is EMBARRASED.

S: I am FED UP WITH THIS! Why can't he just be happy at my birthday party?

C: You just listen.

...

A: I am HOMESICK now! In past, you didn't tell others such things about me.

J: Shut up, Armin! I want to hear more.

M: Eren. Eren. Eren...

E: What's now?

M: Stop it.

E: No.

M: Sasha is IRRITATED.

E: She should be PLEASED with this.

J: Tell us more!

E: After he said he wants to be a girl...

M: Jean, stop him!

J: I am sorry, Mikasa.I am so RELIEVED everyone forgot I am looking like a woman now.

M: Beautiful woman.

J: Yes, Mikasa, I am beautiful...

M: If you don't stop him, I will RECALL this night every time I see you.

...

S: No! No! No! I am FRUSTRATED!

M: Stop screaming. You will wake Eren up.

S: Help me! Save my party!

M: BOUNCE OFF me! He's drunk just because of your stupid party!

S: LAND him down and help me!

M: You're as stupid as A LID.

...

E: Huh? What? What has happened?

M: You...you...you got drunk during Sasha's birthday party!

E: ENTIRE day is full of tears. First I saw Armin crying, now you...

M: W...what?

E: Stop crying, Mikasa.

M: But...

E: Just don't cry. Ok?

...

M: Sasha?

S: What now?

M: The CONTENTS of your bithday party were terrible.

S: I know.

M: I am sorry we were so DISOBEDIENT.

S: T...thanks for understanding.

M: Don't cry. Smile. Your next birthday will be better. I promise you.

S: Haven't you promised to kill me today?

...

A: What's with that strange face?

M: Poor, poor Sasha...

A: You are calling her poor because her party was a failure, right?

M: No. She is poor because she is so stupid she doesn't understand my jokes, poor stupid Sasha.


	3. Uncle And Niece

Once upon a time, Mikasa woke up in the midnight and found A POPPY on her bed.

- Sasha, wake up!

- Again… Let's talk about the UNEMPLOYMENT tomorrow, okay?

- I don't…

- If you want TO RAISE some MONEY, we can do it tomorrow as well.

- You are DISABLED to think! I want to talk about poppies.

- Tomorrow, please…

…

Mikasa made herself A WREATH from those poppies.

Jean saw her wearing a wreath made from poppies.

- I AM SO JEALOUS OF Eren!

- Jean, do you know something about these poppies?

Jean WAS SO NERVOUS ABOUT this situation he forgot how to speak.

- Oh, I AM SO ANNOYED ABOUT it! Nobody wants to talk to me today.

Mikasa thought that things are going to TURN OUT in an ODD way.

...

- Captain Levi...

-Yes, Ackerman?

- I will COPE WITH YOU!

-You think I AM SCARED OF this?

- No. But you have put these poppies on my bed!

-I AM PROUD OF you, Ackerman. You FOUND IT OUT really quickly.

- Why did you do this?

- You really want to know?

-Yeah.

- I am making you and Yeager to confess in love to each other.

...

- Yeager! Come with me for a bit.

-Captain Levi?

-It's an EXTRAORDINARY situation.

...

Eren WAS so ASHAMED OF what Levi had just told him.

- Such a BAFFLED situation, - he said.

- Go and confess in love to her!

- Do I really have to?

-Otherwise, I will start givig her poppies every night until she falls for me.

- But... what do I actually have to say?

- Praise her. Say that her FLIP-FLOPS are really cute.

- But there are no flip-flops amongst Mikasa's POSSESSIONS!

- Then SET OFF something else. It's your mission.

- Mission?!

- And humanity's destiny depends on it.

...

- You'd SACRIFICE your life for him.

-So?

- Then go and confess in love.

- Sasha... if you say it ever again, I will kill you with this TRAY.

- But...y...

- Love is IRRELEVANT for this situation. We need to destroy Titans first.

...

They BUMPED INTO each other .

- Oh, Mikasa, you look as nice as... GOLD PROSPECTOR...

-Eren?!

- No, not like that, but... You are as cute as AN AU PAIR.

-What has happened to you?

-Captain Levi told me to tell you I love you.

- He told me to do this, too. I AM so FED UP WITH that shrimp!

- Yeah. It's so stupid to think we could...er... feel this way.

- That's true.

-Let's avenge him!

- We need a plan.

- We have Armin.

...

They NARRATED everything to Armin.

- So, your ULTIMATE aim is to avenge.

-I AM SO SAD AT this! You love each are going to harm him just for telling truth.

- As things have TURNED UP this way, you really can think so, but we don't love each other.

- Really?!

- We would BE BORED with each other if we were a couple.

- We are like a brother and sister to each other, - Eren said.

- And this kind of love is ILLEGIBLE for siblings.

- I AM really SURPRISED AT this. But I will help you.

...

A lot of COURAGE was needed to make Armin's plan come true.

Everyone disliked Levi's SEVERITY so everyone helped them.

First of all, they hided all the tools for cleaning.

Later they made such a mess in their house it looked like A FACTORY.

AS they GOT OVER their fear, they made another crazy thing.

They TOOK OFF and threw away Levi's shoes.

After that, Sasha replaced them with her favorite high-heeld shoes.

- WHEREAS we did it, I am a little WORRIED ABOUT Captain's reaction, - Connie said.

...

Captain Levi looked UPSET when he saw what had happenned.

He screamed:

-Hanji Zoe!

- What? – she looked HAPPY WITH that Levi remembered her.

- You have done it again!

- What have I done?

...

- It's bad. He thinks Hanji did all this.

- I AM SO DELIGHTED WITH that he thinks so! – Sasha said.

- Poor stupid Sasha, - Mikasa said. – Don't you understand we have TO CALL OFF our plan?

- Why? It's so fun!

- It's not good to blemish Hanji.

...

Mikasa became A SPOKESPERSON and told Levi everything.

- I see, - he finally said. – I didn't mean to make you two confess to each other... I was just drunk.

- I didn't think Captain was so OUTGOING he could get drunk, - Armin whispered.

- I am kidding! I wasn't drunk.

- He also has a sense of humour...Is this really our Captain?

- I just wanted to show to my niece how important her feelings are for me.

SINCE Levi had never talked about his relatives, his words were really surprising.

-So, who is your niece? – Mikasa asked.

- It's you.

-?

- My surname is also Ackerman. I am your uncle.

- Uncle?

-Yeah.

-Then buy me a chocolate.

- Why should I?

- Because it's uncle's duty to buy chocolates for his niece.

-Okay. Let's go... niece.

- Let's go, uncle!

...

104th squad looked at Mikasa and Levi going to buy chocolates.

Mikasa was holding his hand.

They heard her talking in a little girl's voice:

- Oh, my uncle is so nice! I love my uncle!

Eren sighed.

- Even THOUGH I don't love her... I am starting to get jealous.


End file.
